I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
