So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
