She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
