im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
