I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize