i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
