k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Operation Purity has been aborted
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
