he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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