....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fuck appropriateness.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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