we're blogging at a bar
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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