Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
