That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
