the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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