my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
