I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
