So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
