I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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