batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
