Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
