I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
