I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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