from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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