Dual....:-)
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All the doctor said was why
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
