The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
