I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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