We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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