I didn't shave. On purpose
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
