last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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