If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
