So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
