im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think my moral compass just broke
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
