i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
