There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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