4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize