I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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