Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Rumble strips road head = magical
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
