I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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