That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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