I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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