kristin has been a bad kristin
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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