She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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