I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just pee around me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
