ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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