and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
