addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
