well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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