talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
