The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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