i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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