I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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