Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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