Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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