i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
