i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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