If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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