I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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