Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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