Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was confusing and full of hummus
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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