How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
