Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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