sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
