Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
not ubering you a puppy
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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