How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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