I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
