oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
