i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
