I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize