He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
