Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
